


Compromise

by HenryTheHAP



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec you shouldn't put up with his shit, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Because Jace is a kinky shit, But he redeems himself in the end, Jace is a Dick, Jalec Endgame, M/M, brother kink, closeted homosexuality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 20:32:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10557274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HenryTheHAP/pseuds/HenryTheHAP
Summary: Alec is willing to compromise his heart, if it means he gets a small part of Jace.Story #10&11





	1. Chapter 1

”We can’t do this anymore.”

Alec threw a bored look over his shoulder at Jace as he buttoned his shirt. The blond had run his hand through his hair and was staring up at the ceiling with guilt and regret, not meeting Alec’s eyes. Alec didn’t respond. Jace said this every time, and a few days later he’d be knocking on Alec’s door, or giving him the look or a touch during the day that Alec knew meant he should go to Jace’s room. Alec finished buttoning his shirt with his lips pursed, barely suppressing rolling his eyes, and checked himself in the mirror to make sure he looked presentable. He left the room without giving Jace another look, both of them knowing that in only a matter of days they’d be doing it again.

Alec watched Jace run arond after Clary like a lost puppy. Jace was good at playing the straight game. He talked about girls and flirted and chased Clary like he was at all interested in her. Alec knew he wasn’t. His Parabatai had admitted as much. Publicly, according to himself, Jace had lost his virginity to some random girl. According to Alec and Jace both, behind closed doors, their first time had been with each other.

In some ways, he mused, it was arguably good that Jace played his role so well. Alec couldn’t. He couldn’t fake interest in soft curves and delicate features. He knew people questioned about him in whispers. He liked to pretend he didn’t care. He was actually terrified. He knew what it would mean for him, for his family, and most of all Jace, if that came out. The scrutiny to all individuals involved, as well as the rumours could be the end of both their Shadowhunting careers. The hit to his family’s reputation would be all his fault, and he wouldn’t be able to face his parents.

And there it was. The look, a simple glance, from across the room. So Alec would be going to Jace tonight. He didn’t need to give any sign back. Jace knew he’d seen him, and he knew Alec would come.

He’d only just managed to close and lock the door when he was turned and slammed against it, his back hitting the wood none too gently. He didn’t get to complain, because Jace was already on him, kissing him as if his life depended on it as he dragged Alec’s black t-shirt over his head. He backed off enough, himself, to tug his own over his head, before he was back on Alec, and the rest of their clothes disappeared in a whirlwind and Alec found himself on his back on Jace’s bed, naked with his legs spread as Jace removed his fingers and instantly pushed inside him. As always Jace set up a quick, wild pace. He preferred it like that, Alec knew, because then he didn’t have to think about what he was doing, and just do it. As much as it hurt to be the blond’s shameful secret, Alec knew he’d never stop going to Jace or letting Jace come to him as long as he’d want it. Alec loved Jace, and if this was what he could get, he’d take it.

Though he was close, Alec knew better than to reach down and jerk himself off. The times he’d attempted to, Jace had batted his hand away and held off Alec’s orgasm until it was almost painful before letting him come. Alec knew Jace would do it when he got close. Right on queue, Jace’s thrusts got more erratic and his hand wrapped around Alec’s dick, bringing him over the edge and following soon after.

There was silence for a while as they both tried to catch their breath. ”Thought it was going to be the last time,” Alec murmured.

”Shut up, Alec,” Jace snapped, getting off the bed and going into his ensuite bathroom and getting a washcloth, wiping himself down before rinsing it out and cleaning Alec. It was probably the closest sign Alec would get that Jace cared, his always insisting to be the one to clean Alec. Jace tossed the cloth back into the bathroom and turned off the light there. He climbed into the other side of the bed to where they’d had sex, rolling onto his side and propping his head up. He raised his eyebrow, prompting Alec to follow out of the sweaty spot he’d been lying on. Alec mirrored Jace, knowing what was coming.

”You know I want you, Alec,” Jace said softly. ”If there was any way...”

”Yeah,” Alec replied, playing along. He knew, even if it had been accepted for Parabatai to be together, Jace would never want to come out of the closet and ruin the perfect image everybody had of him.

”Alec...”

”It’s okay, Jace.” It wasn’t. It never would be. But to have a little piece of Jace was worth the pain and the lies.

Jace fell asleep not long after, and Alec watched his slumbering face for a little while. A tear slipped down his face, and he wiped it away even as his heart broke a little bit more.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec stood in the tactical room with his legs wide apart and arms crossed as he listened to the new strategy for an attack. Jace was lounging in a seat on the other side of the table, spinning it lazily back and forth. Alec got the impression he wasn't really paying attention, but then he relied on Alec for that.

It had been a few days since Jace had called him to his bed, or gone to Alec. The brunet wondered if he really meant it this time when he said they couldn't continue. Alec looked back at the screen.

Meeting ended, and everybody shuffled out. A hand brushed his. Definitely a deliberate touch. He looked to his left. Jace was walking next to him in the small crowd, not looking at him. Clearly he hadn't meant what he said, then.

Clary came walking towards them, and Jace put on a smile, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her deeply. Alec tried not to gag as he pointedly didn't look at them when he walked passed. He had no idea how Jace could do it. One second he was giving Alec a signal he wanted sex, the next he had his tongue down the throat of a girl he wasn't even remotely interested in.

Spending the day in solitude, Alec trained by himself for a few hours. He tested out a new sword when two others decided to come into the training room to spar. He nodded his head at them and pulled on his shirt, returning the sword to the weapons room. Instead he picked up his quiver. Going to his quarters, he flopped down on the couch and pulled out an arrow, studying it carefully. Satisfied, he picked up the next, going through them and taking count.

Done, he picked up a book he was half way through. Anything to keep him distracted. He didn't want to dwell on Jace. He didn't want to think about him and Clary. He didn't want to think about if the nights his Parabatai spent without him were spent with the redhead.

It was a quiet day. Nothing ever happened when he needed to vent. That would be too convenient. There was still time for something to start, something that could give him an excuse not to go to Jace's tonight. Because he wasn't going. He couldn't handle it. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few days. But not tonight.

It might mean Jace would think he was done. Maybe Jace wouldn't call on him anymore. It was a risk he had to take.

The clock struck midnight. Alec got ready for bed. He should have been at Jace's an hour ago. So it was done. Maybe he'd fucked it up forever. Maybe he'd find himself a few days from now in Jace's bedroom, pleading with him not to end things.

There was a knock on the door ot his living room. Opening it, he was surprised to see Jace there. "Did something happen?" He moved to the couch to get his quiver.

"No, nothing happened," Jace said morosely, stepping into the room and closing the door. The lock clicking got Alec's attention. "You never came."

Alec considered lying. He could claim he didn't know what Jace was talking about, and Jace would nod and they'd got to his bed and Jace would fuck him. "I couldn't. Not tonight."

"Why?" Jace looked away before back at Alec, crossing his arms. It looked more like he was trying to hug himself. "Is this you ending it?"

Alec didn't know how to respond. He hadn't meant it that way, not really, but at hearing Jace's words Alec wondered if that had been his unconcious decision. "I don't know."

"Tell me how to fix this, Alec," Jace said, walking up to Alec and stroking his face. "Tell me how to change your mind."

"I don't know," Alec said again, voice devoid of emotion.

"Can I the spend the night?" Jace looked at him pleadingly.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Alec replied, looking away.

"Just to sleep," Jace said, sadness tinting his voice.

Alec's face twitched into a bitter expression for a second. "You think we're actually capable of that?"

"Please, Parabatai," Jace begged softly.

Alec couldn't say no to that. He nodded, turning and heading to the bedroom. Even though he couldn't hear the blond, he knew Jace was following, padding on light feet behind him.

They climbed into bed, and Jace instantly lay down on his side to face Alec. Alec watched him placidly as Jace hesitantly stroked his face. "You're so beautiful, Alec. You know that?"

Whether or not Jace wanted a reply, Alec didn't give one. He kept his gaze locked with Jace's as the blond danced his hand first over his face, then over his shoulder and neck. Jace shuffled closer, and Alec let him. The hand continued down his chest, to his stomach and back up to his shoulder, and Jace placed it on his shoulder blade, nudging him to lie on his front. Alec did, laying his head on his arms as Jace moved to sit on his thighs. Twisting over and seeking out massage oil in Alec's bedside drawer, Jace squirted some onto his hands, spreading the warming liquid over Alec's back. Firm hands worked the knots out of Alec's back, and Alec let himself melt under Jace's strong fingers. Even as Jace started working his way downwards, to Alec's lower back and slowly lower, Alec didn't stop him. He felt Jace pull down the elastic of his boxers and start to knead Alec's backside.

It killed Alec. Even after he'd made it clear he didn't want sex, Jace was still trying. Selfish. So fucking selfish.

Shifting, Jace pulled off his boxers completely. He poured more oil on his hand, rubbing them together and moving his way down Alec's right leg, then his left. Getting to Alec's feet, Jace manipulated the sore spots into compliance. Alec was drowsily surprised when Jace continued long after all the pains were gone.

Jace got up, and Alec watched as he left the room. A slight frown twisted his features until he heard water running and realized Jace was washing his hands. He gave a small involuntary smile. Jace knew Alec didn't like having other parts of his body touched after Jace's hands had been on his feet.

Returning, Jace climbed onto the end of the bed, gliding up Alec's form and leaving barely inches between them as he hovered over Alec. He pressed a kiss against Alec's neck, right over his back, and Alec's heart clenched. Now he'd start. When Jace instead lay down next to him, Alec was caught off guard. He turned his head to face Jace questioningly, finding his Parabatai watching him solemnly.

"I expected something else," he admitted softly.

"Would you have wanted it?"

"I would have let you."

Jace gave a small smile. "You'd have done neither of us any favours."

"So this is a favour?"

"This is respect."

"And the massage? Was that an apology?"

"I'd never try to win you back that cheaply."

"So you plan on winning me back?"

"Not like this. Not if you don't want me to. Do you?"

Alec looked away. "I don't know."

"When you do decide what you want, I'm here." Jace stroked his face again.

"In what aspect?"

"Whatever aspect you want," Jace spoke honestly, leaning over and placing a kiss on Alec's forehead.

"Even if it's not this?"

"You're my Parabatai. I never should have let myself hurt you. I was selfish." Heterochromatic eyes were full of regret as they watched Alec's face. "I'm so sorry, Alec."

"So what happens now?" Alec asked, touching the arm Jace had on his pillow to show he'd acknowledged and accepted the apology.

"I can't be honest," Jace admitted, "but I won't lie either."

Alec nodded his understanding. "I like this."

Jace smiled. "Me, too."

"I could get used to the massages."

Jace rolled onto his back, laughing. "We'll see, my Parabatai." He stroked a finger down Alec's spine, and Alec was reminded he was naked.

"Why did you take off my boxers?"

Jace blushed, giving a guilty look. "I wanted to see you one last time."

Alec chuckled. "You're such a dick."

"In my defense they were in my way," Jace mumbled.

"Of your hands or your eyes?"

Jace grinned. "Both."

Alec hesitated. "Can I kiss you?"

"Of course." Jace smiled softly, accepting Alec with open arms as the brunet lay half on top of him, pressing their lips together. It was long and languid, reflecting the sadness they both felt, and the relief that maybe they could repair the damage caused. Joy encompassed all of the other emotions, because Jace and Alec would always be Jace and Alec, and their love, their Parabatai bond, would always be there providing them with happiness even when there was pain.

Alec pulled back. "I can feel you against my hip," he teased.

"Give me a break. You're lying on top of me naked and kissing me," Jace mock-grumbled.

"I'll give you that one," Alec laughed, moving and lying on his side facing the blond.

Jace shifted to mirror his position. He laced their hands together, giving a soft smile.

It always struck awe in Alec at how different Jace was behind closed doors with him. The tough warrior, all fight and badass attitude, and here he lay, holding Alec's fingers and giving open smiles and gentle touches.

"We should sleep," Jace murmured softly.

"We should," Alec agreed. He pressed a last kiss to Jace's lips, and they curled up together.

**Author's Note:**

> Story no. 10 and 11 of my 30-day-post-birthday-because-I-never-posted-them-before-challenge. Hope you enjoyed!


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